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Mon, Oct. 21st, 2013, 09:16 am
Are you smart enough to work at Google.

You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and thrown into a blender. Your mass is reduced so that your density is the same as usual. The blades start moving in sixty seconds. What do you do?

Since the answer to the question "What do you do" is dependent on several factors, I think the first thing you would need to figure out is what sort of universe you're living in. Obviously you are living in a universe in which both magic and almost incomprehensibly malevolent forces exist, but the differences between the variations on this universe will greatly influence your range of options.

If you are living in a Harry Potter universe, in which the "shrinking and throwing into a blender" level of villainous intent is only directed at named characters, you would be a named character, and you would thus be important enough to possess magic of your own. You would therefore use your magic to extricate yourself from the situation, either by unshrinking yourself, cutting the power to the blender, flying, or something along similar lines.

If you are living in a Franz Kafka universe, in which random, powerless individuals are suddenly thrust into dehumanizing situations, there isn't much you can do. Even if you were to muster your courage and resourcefulness and thus escape the whirring blades, you would be faced with an even more dire situation, such as slowly suffocating to death inside a hermetically sealed blender or escaping from the plastic vessel only to be eaten alive by some terrible insect. Since survival will only result in mounting panic and despair, your best bet in such a situation is to rebel against the absurdity of human existence by accepting your fate and dying with dignity.

If you are living in a Stephen King universe, in which bad things happen to good people with the narrative capacity to emerge from bizarre situations in one piece, it might actually be possible to escape the blender, although actual physics (and concepts such as "mass" and "density") won't help you much, and things like centrifugal force would probably be real. You would therefore do something like taking off your pants, looping them around the central column of the blender, and securing yourself in place until the blender stops moving. Your ultimate survival, however, would be dependent on chance and coincidence, although your odds aren't good if there's something terrible in your past and you fail to achieve emotional catharsis during your time in the blender.

Nope, I'm probably not smart enough to work at Google.

Tue, Oct. 22nd, 2013 02:47 pm (UTC)

Written like a true literature scholar ;)

Thu, Oct. 24th, 2013 12:16 pm (UTC)

Yeah, I was thinking about mass and density and wondering if you would actually be able to jump out of the blender because you would weigh, like, nothing, but then I was like, MAGIC.

I have no idea what the actual answer is, as Poundstone's book got really boring really quickly and I deleted the Kindle sample.

Also I have no idea what an actual blender looks like, because I have never owned one. I have a juicer, but if someone shrinks you and drops you into that thing then you are fucked.